Boomerangst

The promised ones, you know, the ones with the silver spoons, are quickly being left home alone, to polish the old silver and count their blessings.   Unfortunately, a lot of those blessings came 20 or 30 years ago, along with the inherited silverware. They are now tarnished or vaporized.

College educated kids returning home to middle aged parents has become the norm, and a prophetic vision of our declining opportunities in America.  Parents can’t say no.  After all, where will these kids go?  Homeless shelters?   So, the empty nest has become a crowded nest, while moms and dads, some of whom are still together, open their arms and keep secrets.

The unfulfilled promise of junior’s law degree, or his sister’s magna cum laude parchment  in Computer Science is carving a river of shame into the welcome mat.  Ironically, as China’s multi-generational households are on the decline, America’s is on the incline.

Blogs have blasted us with the news and stats.  Hollywood has made us laugh ( well some of us) at “Failure To Launch”.   What no one seems to be talking about is the crash landing being felt by the thousands of entrepreneurs, subject matter experts and well heeled boomers who are selling their grandmother’s silver at consignment shops, just to buy groceries for the returning kids.

Last week I had some cheap coffee with a friend who announced that she no longer buys the cappuccino.  She’s also not offering to buy my coffee any more..  “Mexico is looking pretty good”, she said, “I could live on $800 a month there when it costs me $4000 a month here.  I have been looking for a job for two years and used up most of my savings.  I’ve opted for early social security, even though it means $550 a month less that I’d get if  I waited 3 more years.  But if I wait those three years, I’ll be destitute.”

Today I spoke with a young man ( about 40) who owns  a paper shredding business.  One thing turned to another and the “Occupy Wall Street” movement came into focus.  “It’s not just the young people”, he said.  “A man I know, who used to be wealthy is now broke.  He was a business genius who owned several businesses, and had a lot of money.  I mean a LOT of money.  His son is a friend of mine. Now he and his wife , my step mother,  are divorcing.  They lost their home to foreclosure after two of his businesses went bust.  The stress killed his marriage.  Next month the old man is moving in with his son. His dad has no place to go and is flat broke. My step mother is moving in with one of her daughters.  They are both in their 60’s.  Man, can you imagine??”

My own struggles with a changing economy have left me bewildered at how all the best advice turned out to be no guarantee of financial security.  As an aging boomer I’ve developed a sagging sense of belonging in our business world, shrinking savings and frequent visits to the pity pot have left me thinking:  this secret needs to be told. Once I learned that “our secrets are our shame”.  I’m determined to avoid that snake pit, even though the money pit seems bottomless.

So, I will write the stories of the boomers trying to avoid going broke, or those who have. No shame in that.    AMM 10/26/11